ode to a friend

Yesterday we put our dog to sleep. It was by no means an easy task.

However, I do believe she decided it was time to go...

I awakened early, went down to say good morning to Grover and start my day.

She was not getting up, nor was she greeting me with her usual barking frenzy... letting me know it was time to open the back door so she could go outside and do her business.

I showered, put some clothes on and got the laundry ready. Then I went to feed Grover. She was splayed out on the floor, which concerned me a bit. I helped her up and she looked a bit tipsy... like a drunken sailor on a wave-tossed boat. As I placed her food in the dish and set it down, she wobbled over to eat, and promptly dropped to the floor but still managed to pull the food to her mouth.

Ok, not so good, I thought.

I got her outside to do her business, helping her down the stairs. As she stepped down, I held her backside, going a stair at a time. I then cleaned up the droppings from yesterday, and waited for her to finish so I could help her back up the stairs.

Perhaps I should back up a bit. The night before, I had come to the conclusion it was time to have the "talk" about Grover, and when was a good time to end her suffering which had apparently started in earnest. I thought the time was coming much too quickly.

My roommate was unable to make the decision because Grover was, for all intents and purposes, her dog. Or, maybe even more descriptive... her "bud." I was really only the occasional "mom," like when someone needed to feed her, or clean up after her...

We had gotten two dogs at the same time, many years back and I had already gone through a similar situation with my dog, Bonnie. When the time came to make end of life decisions, I was devastated by the prospect, but knew it was cruel to allow her to lose her ability to walk without toppling over every few steps. However, realizing euthanasia was the best thing to do, and actually doing it was another matter altogether.

We were in the room when the drug was administered that would stop Bonnie's heart, and as she slipped away, I thought my heart would break. Perhaps it was not the most comforting experience but it was the most humane way to end her life.

We should have been a little more prepared but I'm not sure anyone is prepared for this eventuality even though it's part of the circle of life.

I must say, Grover looked like she was ready to go... like it was a good day to say goodbye and move on. She laid there quietly, surprising because her entire life had been a series of leaps and licks for anyone who wandered into her "space."

We held her and comforted her and she slipped away very quickly and peacefully.

So, I say goodbye to you, my old friend. Despite the disagreements you had with Bonnie, I hope you had a good life. You were a treasured member of our family and we will miss you and the loudest bark I have ever heard on a dog your size.